Please note, if you answer 'yes' to any one of these questions, you know YOU belong at The Retreat Napa:
1. You believe "Mula Banda" is a reggae band that you heard once in college...but many of your college experiences are a little fuzzy.
2. When you go to yoga class and everyone says "Ommmm" before class, you want to giggle because it feels really weird and you can't believe everyone else is really saying 'Om' seriously.
3. You call yourself 'vegetarian' but secretly eat a lot of sushi and just kid yourself that, well, the fish ARE wrapped up in vegetables and seaweed.
4. You call yourself a 'vegetarian' but know deep in your heart, you'd take down a cow with your bare hands to turn it into a pair of tall, shiny, Christian Louboutin riding boots.
5. You secretly use your small green shopping cart at Whole Foods like a weapon, and just smile sweetly and apologize after you've rammed someone super annoying.
6. Sometimes you go to yoga class to defiantly NOT do what the instructor asks you to do.
7. Coffee. Always. Coffee.
8. Sometimes you go to yoga class just to have a young, hot yoga teacher 'adjust' you.
9. Sometimes you go to cardio class, just to have a young, hot male instructor 'adjust you'.
10. Sometimes you just 'adjust' yourself.
Join us! It's going to be a blast!